Hubbie's Second Mom

We went down to Portland this weekend for a retirement party. My husband's Second Mom, as he calls her, retired from making and decorating cakes at Albertson's for 38 years. Cheers! It was a really nice party of family and friends.

Her family owned farm-sized tracts of land in the early days of Beaverton. They sold it off over the years as the family became smaller and used the funds to augment everyday living costs. If you go to the local museum, many of the artifacts and pictures depict their heritage and friends they've known through that time.

My husband adopted her as his Second Mom and she adopted him as her Second Son. My husband had befriended her son, Jeff, in 5th grade. My husband was more of a popular geek as he was tall and athletic and Jeff was a friendless and picked-on geek. Geekiness forged the friendship and hubbie's friendship warded Jeff from bullying from then on.

My in-laws divorced when my husband was 12 years old. Of course as is common in these situations, the effect on the household had been occurring for years. After his Father moved out, his Mom enrolled in school and my husband, the youngest of 4, found himself fending for himself. His Father was involved with the woman that had facilitated the marital break, and his Mother was either in school or socializing with new friends. His oldest sibling had already moved out, his second was on the verge. The third found friends with drugs and my husband was saved by having another family to go to.

Almost daily he would go to his Second Mom's house after school. His own house was hit-or-miss with food and family. His Mother went to Europe for a month and my husband didn't know it until she had been gone for 2 weeks - that's how fragmented their family life was. I could write a novel about his Mother, but not today. Suffice it to say, I don't know what state my husband would have been in if he hadn't had his Second Mom.

Second Mom is truly a loving and generous person. She is guided by a Christian faith but it's not that to me. I know many a Christian who is selfish and ugly in heart. She just is and strives to be, good in heart, generous with her time, and thoughtful of others. My husband made a comment to me the other day. He said most of his life he would look at others for how smart they were, especially in the area of friendships. He didn't have much patience for those that weren't very bright. He said over the years he's been with me, he has learned to accept others who weren't very bright but had good hearts. His comment to me the other day is he now fully understands my looking at the heart only with intellect being a bonus. My husband is incredibly bright with a heart of gold even though he could be a bit of an elitist inadvertently. He really isn't anymore I think. Anyway, looking at his Second Mom and all those around who love her for her heart (himself included), I think it helped him realize that heart is really all that really matters in this world. Intellect may get you into a book and you may leave an imprint on society, but I think he has now realized that you can leave just as an important imprint by how you love those around you. What can I say, my husband and his Second Mom rock.

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